Ask a Grown-Up: How to Interview Someone Who’s Been There
Ask a grown-up.
Recently, when we asked one of our favorite elders if he could remember a year as challenging as 2020, he replied, “Yes, 1942,” without skipping a beat. We found his ability to truly contextualize this fraught moment extremely comforting, and it got us thinking: Why aren’t we having more of these conversations? As many people who have lost a parent or other beloved elder from their life have learned the hard way, we wish we had asked and learned more from them when we had the chance. Never ones to wallow in missed opportunities, we created an interview guide to do better, now & onward, when it comes to downloading wisdom. We plan to take out our notebook, put on our listening ears and turn our attention to our forebears.
Start with a set up
Let your chosen subject know that you would like to interview them, in hopes that you can capture and preserve their wisdom and learn something new. Make sure you really set aside the time to do it right. Figure out what the best medium will be—is in-person possible (or safe)? A call? A zoom? Last, we would suggest recording it (Rev makes a great recording app and even has reasonably priced transcription services) so you can remain present and not worry about scribbling answers, and have a preserved souvenir to replay later. (Please note: Even if it’s your relative, you must always ask if you can record someone.)
Here are some questions to prompt your thinking. Use your inner journalist to follow up and personalize the interview to your subject.
The early years
What is your earliest memory?
What was your favorite toy?
What 3 words would you use to describe your mother? Your father?
What scared you the most?
What funny story did people tell about you as a young child?
Teen time
When is the first time you remember being in love?
What was your favorite subject in school?
Who was your best friend?
What did you do that frequently got you in trouble?
Entering adulthood
What current event do you remember staying up all night talking about?
What did you think you wanted to ultimately do for a living?
Who had the biggest influence on the path you chose?
How did you meet your spouse?
What are three details you remember from your wedding?
Life stuff
Who is your personal hero?
If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
What is the nicest thing someone can say about you?
What is the meanest thing someone can say about you?
What song will you never grow tired of?
What is your favorite movie?
What is your favorite book?
What is the biggest thing you learned about marriage? About children? About work?
What profession would you have liked to try?
If you were told you would not gain a pound, what food would you eat all day?
What piece of advice have you received that has served you well?
What is something that no one knows about you?
What is your guilty pleasure?
What makes you believe in magic?
What is your favorite joke?
