Conversation Starters for Your Next Dinner Party

Better table talk.

At first we were happy just to have IRL gatherings (later, Zoom) again, but then we got thinking: We shouldn’t let time together—which we now can experience, with greater clarity, as a gift—go by without really, truly enjoying the presence of others. Whether this year’s holiday guests are the usual suspects or new cast members, we think it’s time to up our gathering game. As our guru Priya Parker tells us, “A memorable gathering is more than the proper table setting, menu and decor. The magic lies in the connection created between people.” (For more of her words of wisdom, we love this free guide she just dropped.)

Try one conversation.

A friend of ours is a stickler for having a single conversation at a table, versus several sidebars. While it’s not always possible, with a little forethought, you might be able to pull it off. Think strategically about how your table layout can play a part. Can you make it round? A convo-friendly “U?” How ‘bout a hollowed-out rectangle? 

Prime the party.

Choose a get-them-talking activity in advance, and give your guests a heads-up that it’s coming. That way, they’ll be ready to seize their moment when the ice-breaker begins. 

Bring a shared object.

Ask guests to bring a favorite mug, t-shirt or hat, accompanied by the story behind it. Seems basic, but we’re willing to bet the stories that are told will run the gamut from funny to meaningful. 

Make it a card game.

We’ve loved therapist Esther Perel’s podcast from the start, playing fly on the wall as she mends all sorts of relationships with her European-accented straight talk. Recently, she’s branched out from relationship whisperer to workplace and other life relationship-fixer. So imagine our delight when she developed these cards to get dinner guests in a sharing mood. 

Fresh stories.

From Parker herself comes the idea of round-robin storytelling, where everyone shares a moment that changed how they view the world. The catch? It can’t be a story anyone else knows. You could modify what type of story people tell for different variations on the theme, but we love the idea of learning something new about our nearest and dearest. 

A letter to ___________________.

So many variations on the letter-writing theme, and lately we’re loving the one that gets you writing a letter to your January 2020 self. This prompt has a lot of legs with potential directions every which way—which makes for great opportunities for connection.